I have been writing this blog since February 2023, and I appreciate all of you who have subscribed and read my articles. As of October 2025, I have decided to move my blog over to the Substack platform. Substack is an online publishing platform that lets writers publish content to their audiences via email and the web. This will allow subscribers to automatically receive my posts in their inboxes while expanding the reach of my articles to a broader audience.

​I am thankful for your support in my writing about etiquette and manners. To continue receiving my articles, please subscribe to my Substack account HERE.

​Thank you again, and I truly believe Manners Still Matter!

​In the past, I’ve written about how to be a good party guest. Since we’re heading into the holiday party season, I thought it would be a good idea to go over some basics about being a good party host. These tips are specifically for a party you host in your home but some of them can also be applied to parties you hold at a restaurant or event space.

Invitations
The type of invitation, as well as the wording, should match the tone of the party. This gives your guests an idea of what to expect and what to wear. For a formal dinner party, a printed or handwritten invitation sets the right tone. For a casual get-together, a digital invite, email, or even a text works just fine.

Timing matters too. Emily Post recommends sending invitations 3 to 6 weeks in advance for a formal dinner and about 2 weeks for a casual event. Personally, I like the 4 to 6 week range. It’s not too far out where people forget, and not too close where calendars are already full. Always include the date, time, location, purpose of the party, and any dress code.

RSVPs
Whatever type of invitation you use, include an RSVP-by date. Choose a date that gives you enough time to follow up with anyone who hasn’t responded. Once the deadline has passed, it’s perfectly acceptable to reach out to those who have not responded with a polite reminder, such as: “Checking in to see if you and Mark will be able to attend our dinner party on the 15th?” This keeps things friendly and avoids making anyone feel uncomfortable.

Seating
Before finalizing your guest list, think about your seating situation. At a formal dinner party, everyone should be able to sit comfortably around the table. For casual gatherings like a backyard barbecue, seating can be more flexible. If you’re short on chairs or tables, consider renting. Party rental shops are usually more affordable than you might expect, and I use them often.

Menu
If you’re cooking rather than having it catered, think through your oven and stovetop space, as well as the timing of the meal, as you plan the menu. Also, avoid trying out a new recipe on guests. Stick with something you know works well and that fits your kitchen setup.

It’s also thoughtful to ask about allergies or dietary restrictions when guests RSVP. A gracious host makes an effort to accommodate where possible.

Centerpieces
I’ll admit, I can get carried away with centerpieces. The truth is, most people will admire them briefly, then focus on their food and conversations. A couple of things to keep in mind: keep them low enough so guests can see across the table, and skip scented candles, which can compete with the food.

Additional Hosting Tips
A little prep work goes a long way. Do as much as you can in advance, from setting the table to prepping the food, so you’re free to enjoy your guests when they arrive. Greet people at the door, take their coats, and help them feel comfortable. This task can also be delegated to a family member or friend helping you out. If your budget allows, consider hiring help for serving or cleanup to make the evening much easier on you.

At the heart of hosting is making your guests feel welcome and cared for. You don’t have to be perfect or throw the most elaborate party. All you want is for your guests to remember your warmth and hospitality long after the last dish is cleared.

​I just got back from a wonderfully relaxing vacation with my family, and as it turns out, today is National Relaxation Day. How perfect is that? This trip was the first time in a very long time that I truly unplugged—no work, no emails, no social media, just family, laughter, and joy. The experience reminded me how important it is to step away from the busyness of life to reevaluate, reset, and reconnect, not just with others, but with myself and my purpose.

​This post is a little different from my usual etiquette tips. It’s more of a personal reflection, and I hope you don’t mind me sharing what I’ve been thinking about.

​Reevaluate
Stepping away from my daily routines gave me the opportunity to look at my goals with fresh eyes. I’m a big fan of a good to-do list, but I’ve realized that I sometimes let it determine the tone of my day. If I check everything off, I feel accomplished; if I don’t, it can feel discouraging. The truth is, some of the most meaningful moments in life don’t fit neatly on a list. Instead of waking up to my to-do list, I’m experimenting with asking myself, “What is my purpose today?” This simple shift changes the focus from crossing off tasks to living out my values.

Reset
This new way of starting my day feels like a habit worth nurturing. Manners, at their core, are about being aware of how our actions affect others. By focusing on purpose over productivity, I’m hoping to bring more intention to my interactions, whether I’m sending an email, leading a workshop, or talking with a friend. Instead of just doing something to check it off, I want to pause and think about the person I’m engaging with, and the spirit behind the interaction.

Reconnect
My hope is that this mindset will naturally lead me to listen more actively and be fully present in conversations, both personal and professional. When we give people our full attention, it communicates genuine interest, care, and respect, which are all essential pillars of good etiquette.
​
As summer winds down and fall’s cooler days bring a change of pace, I’m carrying this mindset reset into the months ahead. My goal is to approach the busy holiday season not with a race to complete tasks, but with grace, warmth, and consideration for others. Because at the end of the day, those are the things people remember most—not what we accomplished, but how we made them feel.

If you’ve been running on autopilot lately, consider this your invitation to pause and reset. Pick one way to slow down and reconnect with your purpose this week, and let me know how it goes!

There’s something about summer that makes us want to hit the road. Whether it’s a quick weekend getaway or a cross-country adventure, road trips and group travel can create some of the best memories. They can also bring out a few challenges if everyone isn’t on the same page when it comes to behavior and expectations.

​Just because you're off the clock doesn’t mean your manners should be too. Here are a few etiquette reminders to help make your summer travels smoother, more enjoyable, and a little more polite.

​Be a Considerate Co-Pilot
When you're sharing a car with others, space and patience are key. Be mindful of your seatmates' space, and if you’re in charge of music or directions, take turns and ask for input. Don’t just assume everyone wants to listen to your true crime podcast for six hours straight.

Help Keep It Clean
Even if it’s a short trip, basic cleanliness goes a long way. Toss your trash at rest stops, avoid messy snacks if you’re a passenger, and don’t leave your shoes (and their smell) airing out in the backseat. If you spill something or leave a crumb trail, clean it up. The goal is to return the car in the same (or better) condition than you found it.

Mind Your Manners in Shared Spaces
Whether you're crashing at a hotel or splitting an Airbnb, shared living requires some extra thoughtfulness. Don’t hog the bathroom, monopolize outlets, or leave your stuff scattered all over common areas. If someone’s doing the cooking or cleaning, offer to help, or at least chip in on the cost of the food. And no one wants to be woken up at 6 a.m. by your scrounging around in their suitcase looking for something or your late night FaceTime calls with family. Be aware of your volume, especially early in the morning or late at night.

Stick to the Plan (More or Less)
If the group is following an itinerary or has a schedule, do your best to stay on track. Being late or disappearing without a heads-up can throw off the entire day. If you need downtime or want to skip an activity, just communicate it clearly and kindly. A little consideration keeps things running smoothly.

Be a Gracious Guest Everywhere You Go
From gas station attendants to hotel staff and small-town locals, remember your manners as you move from place to place. Say “please” and “thank you,” tip when appropriate, and respect local customs and spaces. Politeness can go a long way, especially when things don’t go exactly as planned.

Wrap It Up With Gratitude
If someone invited you on the trip or took the lead on planning, be sure to thank them. A sincere “thank you” at the end of the trip, or a note once you're home, shows you appreciated the effort as well as the company.

Good manners make good travel companions. So, wherever this summer takes you, pack your patience, bring your best behavior, and enjoy the ride!

Many of us feel like we’re constantly racing from one thing to the next. We race to make the morning workout class, then hurry home to get ready for work. We scramble to get the kids to school and ourselves to the office. From there, it’s a blur of meetings, errands, and after-work obligations. We’re expected to do all this AND be on time!

​There are times when being late is out of our control. Traffic happens. Kids spill things. Alarm clocks fail. But when lateness becomes a habit — even just a few minutes here and there — it sends a message, and it’s probably not the one you want to send.
 
Chronic tardiness can come across as disrespectful of others’ time, disorganized, or even inconsiderate. It can give the impression that you’re not managing your responsibilities well — and that perception can hurt your professional reputation and strain your relationships. According to a Harvard Business School research paper, arriving late to work has the potential to affect the bottom line of your employer. It can also have a “spillover” effect on your co-workers, causing them to work past their original clock-out time. That might not sit well with a colleague or your employer.
 
On the flip side, being on time sends the right message — one of reliability, courtesy, and self-awareness. Those qualities build trust, strengthen your credibility, and show respect for other people’s time. And yes, it’s also just plain good manners.
 
If being on time doesn’t come naturally, here are a few small shifts that can make a big difference:

• Know your prep time. Time yourself getting ready to see how long it really takes. For me, I need an hour to do my hair and makeup, get dressed, and gather my things. Once I know that, I can plan accordingly.
• Lay it out the night before. Choosing your clothes and prepping your bag ahead of time prevents the morning scramble.
• Use a reminder buffer. Set a phone alarm to leave 15–30 minutes earlier than you usually would. That extra cushion adds up to peace of mind.
• Aim to arrive early. Plan to arrive 15 minutes early for everything. Once this becomes your habit, you’ll seldom be late.

 
A little preparation goes a long way. With just a few tweaks to your routine, you can step into your day feeling calm, prepared, and polished. And when you show up on time, you’re not just showing up — you’re showing others that you value them and yourself.

When someone is mourning the loss of a pet, oftentimes, we may struggle to find the right words to say to them. It may even be awkward for some people, especially if they have not experienced that type of grief themself. Keep in mind that for most people, a beloved pet is part of their family, and the loss they feel can be similar to what they would feel if they were to lose a family member or friend. So please don’t say to them, “It was only a pet; you’ll get over it.”

​Our cat, Jack the Cat Lins, left us earlier this month. He was 17 years old, and we had him for most of those 17 years. The loss of a pet affects everyone differently. In my case, I was very emotional for several days, and it was difficult to focus on anything other than my sadness. I didn’t want to interact with people because I wasn’t sure if I could keep my emotions intact if I were offered condolences. Everyone who reached out to me was so thoughtful and kind with their words, and I truly appreciated it.
 
During this time, it occurred to me that not everyone may be comfortable reaching out to someone who has just lost a pet or even know what to say. Here are some suggestions for various ways to show expressions of sympathy:

Reach out to them
They are grieving, and hearing from someone can help them to process their sadness. It’s okay to say something similar to what you would say if they were mourning the loss of a human family member. Here are some phrases that are pet-specific:

• “I’m so sorry to hear about your loss of [pet’s name].”
• “Is there anything you need?”
• “I know how much [pet’s name] meant to you.”
• “You were lucky to have each other all these years.”
• “You were such a good parent to [pet’s name].”

 
Offer your assistance
Having reminders of the pet in the home can be very difficult for some people. Depending on your relationship, offer to help remove items: “Do you need help putting away their toys or bedding?”
 
Send a card or note
I received several cards and text messages after the loss of our dear Jack the Cat. Reading the kind words was comforting and they are something I can go back and read again.
 
Avoid unsolicited advice
Don’t suggest they get a new pet right away to fill the void. They may not be ready for that now or ever.
 
Avoid making it about you
Try not to compare their loss to your own. Instead, share a fond memory you have of their pet or ask them to share a memory of their own.

Suggest a way to memorialize their pet
In our situation, we had Jack the Cat cremated and placed in an urn. We also had a special plaque made for the front of the urn. For me, it was comforting to have him back in our home.

​If you’ve recently lost a pet, my heart goes out to you. I know your heart must be breaking. My own grief overwhelmed me for several days, causing me to dread seeing people. I realized I had to get back out into the world, but I also needed a way to cope with any comments without being overcome with emotion. I decided to have a go-to phrase and respond with “Thank you, I appreciate that.” It allowed me to politely accept their sympathy without breaking down in tears every time someone mentioned it.
 
I hope this helps those of you who may not know what to say or do when someone is mourning the loss of a pet, as well as those of you who are grieving the loss of your beloved pet.
 
Rest in Peace Jack the Cat Lins.

It's almost that time of year when graduation ceremonies fill stadiums and auditoriums across the country. In the past, I've shared tips on general graduation etiquette, but in this post, I want to focus more specifically on how to show respect and courtesy during the ceremony itself.
Every school has its own requirements and expectations for graduation day, so always defer to those first. That said, here are some general etiquette guidelines to keep in mind:

Before the Ceremony

• Respect the guest list. Most schools limit the number of tickets available for each graduate. If you weren't offered a ticket, avoid taking it personally or making the graduate feel bad—it's likely out of their control.
• Dress for the occasion. Graduation is a milestone event. Choose attire that reflects the significance of the day. If the ceremony is outdoors, be prepared with sunglasses, a hat, and sunscreen.
• Arrive early. Allow extra time for traffic, parking, and finding your seat. It's much more enjoyable to settle in without the stress of rushing in at the last minute.

During the Ceremony

• Silence your devices. Before the ceremony begins, turn off or silence your phone and other electronics.
• Follow the school's rules. Many schools ask guests to hold applause until all names have been read so each graduate is honored equally. Abide by those requests.
• Stay seated. Avoid the temptation to leave right after your graduate walks the stage. The ceremony is a shared experience—honor all graduates by staying until the end.
• Be mindful of photos. If you're snapping a photo or video, do so quickly and discreetly. Don't stand up, block others, or draw attention during key moments.

After the Ceremony 

• Share the space. When reuniting with your graduate, avoid crowding pathways or gathering spots—especially popular photo areas.
• Give them room to soak it in. This moment is often emotional. Let your graduate greet friends, take photos, and say their goodbyes without rushing them.

 
Whether cheering from the stands or snapping pics after the tassels turn, a little etiquette goes a long way in making graduation day smooth and memorable for everyone. Let's help make it a memory worth keeping—for all the right reasons.

​I’m a big proponent of becoming the best version of myself. I read a lot of books and blog posts centered around self-improvement. I sneak a fiction book in there occasionally, but I’m always drawn back to books designed to help me get better at something.

​I’m a firm believer that everyone has the potential to get better. That’s what my classes and workshops are all about: To help people be the best version of themselves. To do this, now and then, we need to take a step back and do a bit of self-evaluation to see where we need to improve. I do this self-reflection at least once a year.

I realized I needed to work on my public speaking skills a few years ago, so I joined Toastmasters. Toastmasters is an organization that helps people develop communication and public speaking skills through practice and evaluation. Twice a month, I give impromptu speeches at our meetings. In doing this, I have become more comfortable speaking in front of a group.

If you’re reading this blog post or following me on social media, you probably have this same self-improvement mindset. My call-to-action for you is to think about where you want to improve in regard to etiquette and manners.

Improving your etiquette and manners starts with self-awareness. Take a moment to reflect on your interactions, habits, and social behaviors. Here are some key areas to consider:

• First Impressions: Do you make eye contact, offer a firm handshake, and introduce yourself with confidence?
• Conversational Skills: Are you a good listener? Do you interrupt or dominate conversations?
• Dining Etiquette: Do you know basic table manners, such as using utensils correctly and not speaking with food in your mouth?
• Professional Etiquette: Do you respond to emails promptly, show up on time, and respect others’ time in meetings?
• Social Media Etiquette: Are your online interactions polite and professional? Do you think before you post?
• Gratitude & Courtesy: Do you say “please” and “thank you” regularly? Do you write thank-you notes when appropriate?
• Respect for Others: Do you practice inclusivity, avoid gossip, and treat people with kindness?

Once you’ve identified areas for improvement, set small, achievable goals. Whether you start by refining your email etiquette, improving your listening skills, or simply saying ‘thank you’ more often, every small step adds up. Etiquette isn’t about perfection—it’s about being mindful, respectful, and considerate in all situations.

Improving your etiquette and manners is a journey, and small, intentional changes can make a big difference. If you’d like more personalized guidance, I offer in-person and virtual classes, as well as my digital course, The Polished Professional, designed to help business professionals refine their skills. No matter where you are in your self-improvement journey, there’s always room to grow.  Here’s to becoming the best version of yourself!

​Always Stand Up to Shake Hands
Whenever possible, stand up when shaking someone's hand. This small but powerful gesture conveys respect and engagement. If standing isn't physically possible, you can acknowledge the handshake with a friendly nod and verbal greeting.

The Perfect Handshake Technique
Your handshake should be firm but not overpowering. Here's how to execute it properly:

• Extend your right hand with your palm facing slightly inward.
• Aim for the "web" of your hand (the area between your thumb and index finger) to meet the other person's web. This ensures full contact.
• Grip firmly—but not too tight or too limp. Think of it as a confident grasp, not a bone-crushing squeeze or a weak touch.
• Maintain eye contact and smile to project warmth and confidence.

Getting the Grip Just Right
A handshake should feel natural, not forced. If you're unsure whether yours is too firm or too weak, practice with a friend or colleague. Ask for honest feedback and adjust accordingly.

How Many Pumps?
Handshakes vary slightly depending on the situation:

• Business Setting: Two pumps are standard—up and down twice, then release.
• Social Setting: Three pumps are more common in friendly, non-business environments.

Avoid excessive shaking, which can feel awkward or overwhelming.

When to Initiate a Handshake
In business, the person of seniority—such as the employer or senior executive—typically initiates the handshake. However, if you're meeting someone and the moment feels appropriate, extending your hand first is perfectly fine.

A Few Handshake Don'ts

• Avoid the "limp fish" handshake. A weak grip can give the impression of insecurity or lack of enthusiasm.
• Don't overdo the "death grip." Crushing someone's hand can make you seem overly aggressive. It also has the potential to cause pain in the other person's hand, especially if they are elderly or have arthritis in their hands.
• Skip the "linger." Holding on too long can make the other person uncomfortable.

Final Thoughts
Your handshake is often the first impression you make—so make it count! By standing up, using the proper grip, and shaking with confidence, you'll leave a lasting, positive impact in both professional and social settings.
​
Do you feel confident in your handshake? If not, grab a friend and start practicing today!

​Manners and etiquette do not need to be complicated. Let’s get back to the basics and keep it simple. Knowing some guidelines about maneuvering a dining table will help you feel confident during your next dining experience.

Place Setting
A basic table setting is something that most of us use every day and it includes the following:

• The fork is placed on the left side of the plate.
• The knife is placed on the right side of the plate, with the blade facing inward.
• The plate is in the center.
• The water glass is positioned above the knife.
• The napkin is placed to the left of the fork or on top of the plate.

Only include items on the table that will be used for the meal. In this case, a fork, knife, and glass suffice. See the photo above.

Napkins
When you sit down at the table, place your napkin on your lap. However, if you are dining in someone’s home, wait for the host or hostess to place their napkin on their lap first, then follow their lead. If they don’t place their napkin on their lap and the meal is being served, you may proceed to place yours on your lap.

There are two acceptable ways to position your napkin on your lap:

1. Fold the napkin with the fold closest to you and the open end facing your knees.
2. Fold the napkin with the open end closest to you and the fold near your knees.

Use the inside of the napkin to dab your mouth to remove food or sauce. When done, place the napkin back on your lap with the soiled part inside to keep it discreet. If you leave the table during the meal, place your napkin on your chair.

​When the meal is over, place the napkin to the left of your plate or where your plate was if it has been cleared.

Holding and Using Your Utensils
Hold your knife and fork with the handles resting in the palms of your hand. With the fork, turn your hand over and place your index finger at the base of the fork where the handle and tines meet. For the knife, again turn your hand over and place your index finger in the spot where the handle and blade section meet keeping your index finger straight. This short VIDEO will give you a visual explanation.

When cutting food, hold the knife in your dominant hand and the fork in your other hand. Grip the handles with the palm of your hands, turning the blade and tines downward. Place your forefingers at the spot where the blade and handle meet and on the back of the tines. Cut one or two pieces at a time and avoid holding the fork like a dagger.

• American Style: Place your knife at the top of the plate. Switch the fork to your dominant hand and hold it like a pencil, bringing each bite to your mouth individually.
• Continental Style: Keep the knife and fork in the same position used for cutting, then bring the fork (tines down) to your mouth while the knife rests on the plate.
  This short VIDEO will give you a visual explanation.​
  

When pausing during the meal, place your knife across the top of your plate with the blade facing you, and position your fork at the 4:00 mark on the plate. This signals the resting position in American dining. See the photo above.

When you are finished with your meal, place your fork and knife together in the 4:20 position on the plate with the knife blade facing inward. See the photo above.

Excusing Yourself from the Table
If you need to leave the table during the meal, simply say “Excuse me” or “I’ll be right back” to those seated near you and quietly leave. There’s no need to explain where you’re going. Likewise, if someone else leaves the table, avoid asking them where they are going.

By practicing these basics daily, they will become second nature, allowing you to dine with confidence and ease. 

If you would like to learn more about dining etiquette with private lessons, please reach out to me HERE!
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