Prom Etiquette

​Prom is a fun time for high school students to get dressed up, have dinner and dance the night away with friends. It can also be a time of confusion when it comes to the proper way to handle certain situations.
 
Here are some polite ways to handle tricky scenarios that may come up, along with general etiquette tips for the night.

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What if someone asks you to prom and you don’t want to go with them?
 
You don’t have to go to prom or any dance with someone just because they have asked you. The important part is to let them know politely. You don’t want to embarrass them or announce to the whole school that someone asked you to the prom and you said "No". Be discreet and consider their feelings when you give them your answer.
 
If you had plans to go with a group or were not planning on going at all, let them know. If you were hoping someone else was going to ask you, be honest. You can say something like: “Thank you for asking, but there is someone I really like and was hoping to go with them. I hope you understand why I can’t go with you.”
 
What about a “Promposal” that you don’t want to accept?
 
Promposals are an elaborately staged request to be someone's date to a prom. Promposals are usually done in public so this can be tricky if you are declining the request. You don’t need to say “yes” just because they have asked you in front of others but you also don’t want to embarrass them. One way you can handle it, is when they do the big “Ask”, you can smile and say “Thank you for asking” and then whisper in their ear “We need to talk”. That should end the production and you can let them know your answer in private.
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Note to those of you planning a Promposal: Before going to all the effort, you may want to put out some “feelers” with one or two of their close friends to see if they are even interested in going with you. This will help avoid any embarassment.
 
What if you agree to go to prom with someone and then a 2nd person asks and you want to go with them instead?
 
You’ve already said “yes” to the first person which means you originally wanted to go with them. That is, until the 2nd person also asked. The polite thing to do would be to honor your original commitment. You’ll probably end up having a good time without feeling guilty about ditching them. Tell the 2nd person that you’ve already accepted a prom date but would love to go out with them another time. That way you’ll still have an opportunity to go out with them.
 
Who pays for the prom?
 
Traditionally, the person who did the asking did the paying. Today this is a bit more flexible. The cost of prom tickets, dinner, outfits, limo, etc. can get very expensive so, it’s completely acceptable and a nice gesture if the person being asked offers to pay for part of the night. They can offer to either buy the tickets or the dinner or even offer to chip in for the meal or limo. Don’t be offended if they don’t offer. Just know that they are more traditional when it comes to these types of dates.
 
The key is to have this conversation right away. If you’re asked to go to prom and want to help with the cost, you can say something like: “That would be great! I look forward to a fun night. I’d like to pay for the ….. or chip in for the …..”
 
Tips for the night:
 
Gentlemen:

• Be on time. Don’t make your date wait.
• Gentlemen should go up to the door to get their date and to meet the parents.
• Ask your date in front of the parents, “What time are you expected home?” That way your date and the parents will be on the same page and you know the expectations.
• Offer to hold the car door and any building doors for your date. “May I get the door for you?”
• Allow your date to be seated first at the restaurant and ask if you can help with their chair.
• Allow your date to order their meal first.

 
Ladies:

• Be on time. Don’t make your date wait.
• Wear dress and shoes that allow you to be comfortable without being too revealing.
• Have a conversation with your parents in advance about your curfew time.
• If your date offers to hold the door for you and you’d rather they not, say in a polite tone, “No thank you, I can get it.”
• At the dinner, you can take the lead to the table and select your seat. Make sure it's next to your date.
• If your date offers to push in your chair, graciously accept or say in a polite tone “No thank you, I’ve got it”.

 
Both:

• Place your napkin on your lap.
• Use the utensils from the outside in.
• No elbows on the table.
• If you’re not sure how to eat a certain food item, wait for someone else to start and follow their lead. If no one does, then politely ask the server.
• No phones at the table unless you’re having your picture taken.
• At the dance, don’t ditch your date to hang out with your friends.
• Introduce your date to your friends if they don’t know them.
• If you decide to dance, make sure to dance with your date. 
• Don't be forced to do anything that you are not comfortable with.
• Have fun!